Thoughts for a Friday

So we're finishing up the prep work to get the house ready to put on the market while dodging collection calls from the mortgage company.  For the first time EVER (no exaggeration - NEVER EVER since the first time I've ever been issued a bill) I am not able to honor my commitment and pay a debt I owe.  I know some folks wouldn't bat an eye at this.  Some might be bugged a little here, maybe there.  Not me.

THIS BOTHERS ME DAILY.

If you've ever had no choice but to walk away from your HOME of over a decade due to circumstances you had little to no control over then perhaps you can relate.  I hope not because it sucks.

We've been blessed with new friends who are there to laugh with us, cry with us, pray with and for us and support us through a really difficult chapter in our lives.  A huge and heartfelt thank you to those of you who have shown and continue to show what it means to be true friends - we love you and thank God for bringing you into our lives each day.  We've also lost friends and well, they must never have been relationships we were to remain in longer than now so God be with each of you and we hope to have learned whatever God wanted us to from the time we spent together.

Consistent FT work is still not a component of our daily living yet.  Searching for work hasn't ceased and I trust God will continue providing as He sees fit and when the job He has planned for me comes my way, it will be because He has said it's time.  God continues to provide opportunities for Brian to do some contracting work here and there and we praise Him for those opportunities!

Speaking of Brian....

Ya'll know by now he was fired in February without being given cause.  To those of you having seen the infamous "18 things list" please note - NO ONE bothered to share it or discuss it with Brian before he was fired, while he was being fired or after he was fired.  We only know about it because people have shared with Brian it exists and that they have read it even though Brian himself never has; yet some of you have. I can't begin to express how not right that is.

What many folks seem to lose sight of is Brian lost more than just his paycheck and medical insurance for his family.

He lost his church home.
He lost a daily opportunity to serve God with the talents he was given in the company of many amazing musicians and singers whom he loves and respects.
He lost some folks he thought were friends.
He has been betrayed by people he called friends and has continued to be subject matter for gossip among people he knows and people he's never even met.  It's ironic that the people who have spoken to him directly are the ones NOT speaking all about his business.  BTW - speaking to me about him doesn't count - I am not my husband so if you're talking about him having never talked directly TO HIM, you seriously need to check yourself and get a hobby or something.

What I find amazing and inspiring is through this incredibly huge loss Brian has remained the person he has always been.  His character and behavior continue to be above board and transparent.  His faith is strong and his resolve to come through this better than he began is evident.
He finds a way to use his talents to glorify God when he can.
He has been & continues to be COMPLETELY SOBER (sadly, I feel an overwhelming need to stress this one to some of you who should already know better and be ASHAMED for stating and/or repeating otherwise.)
He is busting his butt to provide for his family and he does ALL THIS while still grieving tremendous loss.

Thanks be to God for continuing to give Brian the strength and resolve to put one foot in front of the other (or to at least remain firm where he is and not fall back on those harder days) every single day.

Yes, I am a bit "miffed" as I write this.  I manage it with God's Grace as best I can but it's hard when I know my husband was hurt in a cruel and needless manner.  Knowing his departure could have been handled so differently and with much less cruelty is hard to process sometimes.  It's a different kind of "mama bear" reaction I have that frankly, I hope no one reading this can actually understand how that feels.  My husband hurts therefore I hurt - and I don't like to hurt.  I SURE don't like seeing anyone hurt him.  So yeah, that makes me mad.  I'm allowed.  I'm the wife.  I love him.  I'm human.

Brian is an amazing man and while he has faults just like the rest of us, I am honored and humbled to call him my husband and to have been chosen by him (and God frankly) to be his wife.  I love him and believe in him and support him and know how kind, genuine and caring he is.

He got knocked down.  He got up again.  He may stumble a bit as he gets back up but he will NEVER be kept knocked down. God is making sure of that.

Here is to a weekend filled with the love and blessings only God can provide!