Prepping for her first day was much like everyone else sending a child/children back to school. You get some clothes and that "first day outfit." You get the itemized list of school supplies knowing that when they come home there will be more still to purchase. You make sure there is a suitable backpack to carry everything you just bought and unlike when I went to school, you make sure they have the latest technology necessary (that you can afford) to be successful in all they do.
Another step we take here is planning lunches. I try to give our girl balanced, healthy lunches like all parents do for their kids. We have extra "fun" in this area since we have to make more specific choices to help alleviate some minor medical issues. So this past week, this mom went online to get some ideas for cool lunches that are in line with the foods she is allowed to eat.
As I prepared various "make ahead to save time" goodies I noticed I was running out of room in the fridge. I remember being irritated for a moment before remembering that there are folks without a single morsel to eat let alone what God has blessed us with. I took that step back, checked myself and thanked God for a fridge that was becoming a little too small for all I wanted to do this weekend. Then I started thinking...
There has been a lot of self-checking going on around here lately. Actually, it has been going on for months but more things are becoming clearer to me as time has passed since the beginning of this year.
Many of you reading this know we were dealt a pretty horrible blow in February when my husband was fired from his job at FCF Church. We lost our only source of income along with our health benefits. I had been laid off towards the end of 2013 so yeah - NOT a good situation. We fell behind on our mortgage and are now waiting for the bank to foreclose. We were "smacked" with the reality that some who we thought were friends truly weren't. (There were other things but yeah, you're getting the more appropriate "Reader's Digest" version today.)
That was the beginning of the year.
Since then much has happened and God has shown us so many positive things that came from a pretty horrible start to the year. Most importantly faith was strengthened and our relationship with God is better than it had been. While losing friends hurts, we realized we didn't really lose friends - toxic and disingenuous people were removed from our lives but true friends remain. We became even more appreciative and thankful for those who truly were and continue to be friends and have also made new ones these past months.
We've found healthy churches to become involved with and attend. I'll never forget the first time I met with my new Senior Pastor and he wanted to pray with me after we spoke. Never once had my previous Senior Pastor EVER prayed with me when we had met - and certainly not at the last meeting we had where I shared with him the reasons behind the decision I made to leave his church.
Recently my husband and I returned to FCF to attend the Global Leadership Summit they were hosting on behalf of Willow Creek. The reception we received was pretty much what we anticipated. With the exception of a few warm and friendly faces coming over to us (THANK YOU for making us feel welcome!), we were mostly ignored and visibly avoided. Sad behaviors to witness, especially by those who have the word "pastor" in their job titles.
But you know something, while it was disappointing behavior to see, it was oddly a refreshment because it just continued to show us part of how God is working in our lives. God delivered my family (and especially my husband) from an unhealthy and toxic place so we could find spiritual safety and really be able to grow in our walk with Christ.
God also led me to Haiti in June where I experienced some amazing things. I gained a new perspective on so much we take for granted and lack the appreciation for in our country. It is often said but truly for me this was an inspiring and life changing trip that I'd not trade for anything.
God, who NEVER needs to prove Himself, has been at work in our lives and providing for us in amazing ways - proving He is with us no matter how dark the days might be. We are strengthened every day by the hurt and despair the beginning of the year brought even if it didn't feel like it. We see more clearly the blessings coming from the hardships. With only God's help and His amazing grace we can look at the last several months now with more positives and not nearly as many negatives. There are still some negatives from time to time, sure. I mean, we are after all human and it takes time to grieve and heal from the pains we experience in this life.
Looking into that full refrigerator and reflecting back reminded me today of James and the words he shared with us which I will leave you with today. God bless you all who have honored me enough to read my ramblings this fine Sunday afternoon.
James 1 New International Version (NIV)
1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
Greetings.
Trials and Temptations
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth,that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
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