Here We Are...

I'd be lying if I said the last several weeks haven't been hard if not bordering on unbearable.  My family suffered a terrible betrayal when my husband was fired last month from FCF Church.  Already working on a limited budget due to my own lay off several months ago we were whacked in the face with a new reality that was anything but pleasant.

Not only are we working through hurt and anger of varying degrees but stress is abundant and sadly, a big trigger for my own medical issues so dealing with this last wave of depression has been a little harder than I've had to manage quite a long time.  More importantly though is I HAVE managed it and the clouds are fading fast.

Yesterday I read something that gave me cause to think:

God will wreck your plans when He sees that your plans are about to wreck you.

I can't say exactly what plans we had that were going to wreck us but God knew and He stepped in as any loving Father does when His child(ren) are on the wrong road.  Even through the discomfort and pain we are lovingly being re-directed to where God wants us - where we are to be according to His plans and not ours.

With each passing day, we are slowly healing and most importantly, GROWING.  Growing in our faith and in our relationship with God.  I have seen acts of such love and generosity directed towards my family also strengthening the relationship for others in their own walk with Christ.  A time when people could lose faith or question God is helping to strengthen bonds with Him for many more than just us.  That's so AWESOME and frankly, worth whatever hardships we are working through.

There have been times this month where I was so overwhelmed by the love and generosity of others I was left without words and crying tears of joy.  Best tears to have fall let me tell you!  So many blessings God is providing - no words I can come up with do justice to how wonderful that makes me feel and the most I've been able to utter amounts to a simple thank you.  I hope that's enough.

Three months from now I'm going to be in Haiti to work alongside people who have little material things, limited food or water and if they are lucky, 4 walls holding up a make shift roof over their cramped heads.  Never having been to Haiti before I am making assumptions but I believe despite all that which we would find discouraging, I'm going to meet a lot of friendly people who don't sweat the small stuff - and to them small stuff could very well be what we see as the HUGE stuff.  The thought itself is a sobering one as I look around the house at all we've been trusted with.  I wonder if we've truly been good stewards with all God has given us and I'm thinking, "nope, probably not."

I've been told by many this trip will change me.  Change me in ways I can't begin to imagine until they happen.  I want to come back not caring if we don't have TV channels to watch.  I want to come back appreciating the meals we have the privilege of eating here when so many go hungry or survive on so little.  I want to be hungry and gain a fraction of understanding for what people I will meet go through every single day.  I want to lose some sleep because I'm not lying on this ultra comfy ergonomic back supporting mattress so I can appreciate what it must be like to sleep on little to nothing underneath you.  I don't want to do battle with large spiders but if that's what I must do, bring them on!  (one at a time though please - this arachnaphobe can only manage so much before she screams and shrieks like a wussy girl flailing her arms in fear).

I truly want to come home CHANGED.

I ask those of you reading this to please pray for the team of people I have the honor of joining along with myself as we continue preparing for our trip, while we are gone and when we return home changed people.

Please pray for those in Haiti we are going to help and visit.  Please pray for our sponsor child Edeline and her aunt along with the other children both sponsored and not yet sponsored.

Please pray for my family as we continue weathering this storm with God as our guide.  He's leading the way and we are following Him and will continue to follow Him faithfully.

Thanks for taking the time to read this today.  We are going to be OK so don't you worry.  I hope you'll get to see how all this turns out in the end and all the fantastic things God has in store for us once this storm has passed.

Till next time!